Kon Kessha Golden(By Mer & Fen)

[MeressXIII]

_{Attention all, I had these in the works for about a day or so. I got a few written but you won't be getting them all at once. For now I'll just take a cheap shot and let you all know it will be random shots, completely random references to power rangers and possibly even a beastiality joke or two. These will update when I feel like it.}

---

The 12th Division Labs

Eaon: *walks in with an undeserved sense of accomplishment* I feel like that one amazing rapper.

Nonko: Uhm...Hi, what do you want?

Eaon: I was here to pic up my order, the-

Slugcat: WoOf

Eaon: Special...ite..m...excuse me did that thing just say woof?

Nonko: Oh yes that order, here I got it around here somewhere. IT was really clearly labeled. Girls can you come help me for a moment?

Eaon: What about the woof? Wait girls!!!!

-Bikini Clad Twelth women enter the room-

Nonko: Girls I was looking for this mans order, pen-

Eaon: THAT won't be needed, I'll help you look, no need for the women folk to get involved.

-Lumina Enters-

Lumina: Involved with what exactly?

Nonko: He had asked me to create an enhancement drug for his pen-

Eaon: CIL SHARPENER, yes my Pencil Sharpener. IT's organic and needed a tune-up so why don't you girls just go ahead and frolic back to whatever you were doing.

-Girls and Lumina all begin to Exit-

-Duo Enters the room carrying a small bottle of pills-

Duo: Captain Nonko you forgot that idiots order for penis enlargement on the lab table again.

All but Duo: 0_0

Girls: He would need it

Lumina: oh my...I had my theories but thought they weren't grounded

Nonko: *laughing his ass off*

Eaon: *mouth agape and frozen as his humiliation reaches its peak.

-Duo walks out while placing the pills in Eaons agape mouth-

Duo: *whispers* Don't ever waste my budget...

---

12th Division Building


-Chiro works on a project while Nonko watches something on the computer-


Nonko: -stars at computer-

Lumina: -enters- Hello Captain

Chiro: Good morning boobs...

Lumina: …

Chiro: …

Lumina: -murders Chiro-

Nonko: -still staring at computer- Cut out that noise its at the good part.

Lumina: -confused- What are you watching, sir?

Nonko: Something from the Living World called hentai

Lumina: 0_0!

Real Life

Me: Should I really use Hentai as a joke in this?

Fensake: …

Me: What?

Fensake: I'm gonna kill you.

Me: ?!

Back in 12th Division

Lumina: Sir, why are you watching this!

Chiro: -somehow is alive- Cause its a project!

Lumina: -kills him again- What kind of project is this?!

Nonko: I'm trying to learn about the thing called, the Internet.

Lumina: But why hentai?

Nonko: It was the 1st thing that popped up when I started.

Lumina: So you just started?

Nonko: No, I started a year ago.

Lumina: Then why are you still watching this!?

Nonko: I don't know. Chiro do you remem---

Chiro: -dead-

Eaon: -walks in to see Chiro Dead, Nonko watching porn, and Lumina getting mad- How come no said there was a party going on.

---

In The Seireitei

-Nonko sunbathes on the 12th Division beach-


Nonko: That bat bunny skin made a fine set of swim trunks wouldn't you agree Duo.

Duo: Worth all the money wasted in the budget sir.

Eaon: I would have preferred the slugcat for mine. Much softer.

-Lumina in a Bikini-


Lumina: Well sorry but the woman needs more comfort then the guy

All Men: To True >->

Lumina: STOP STARING!!! *violence*

All men: *bleeding from their empty eye sockets*

Lumina: *relaxes again* Yup. Nice and soft.

-In Ceniza Magical Crack Factory-

Ceniza: Yes this is brilliant BRILLIANT.

Meress: Uhm...weren't we moving away from these guys in this chapter to give the readers what they wanted in the hopes that they would find *continues to jabber on like a nerd*

One Hour Later

Meress: So in conclusion by failing to diversify our gross national by-product we find ourselves in state of recession for the viewing time of our ongoing project.

Ceniza: *walks in with Chinese* Are you still talking? I left like 45 minutes ago.

Meress: ...Well did you get me anything

Ceniza: No, they didn't have Gi Die Pi. I was surprised, it sounds chinese

Meress: I said GDP, Gross Domestic Pro-*mouth stuff with egg rolls*

Ceniza: Stop butchering the Chinese language

-In Hueco Mundo-

Vacio: How am I controlled by that guy....*nails another board onto his stair-frame.*

Marcus: No worries, he is typically much higher by now. Must have spent his money on games again

-Vacio throws a huge tarp over the stairs-


Marcus: >_>

Vacio: <_<

Marcus: ...You aren't still trying to push-

Vacio: WHAT STAIRS!?!

MArcus: Well I guess that answers that.

Vacio: Yup, You definitely did not see those stairs that don't exist at all.

Marcus: ....I could keep this going but it's just easier to shoot you. *Begins charging Cero*

Vacio: Yup no stairs at al- *blasted to oblivion*

Marcus: Well I guess I can tell Rose it's safe to go have tea with Aporro again. *leaves the room*

Later that day


All Espada: d**nit, I knew we shouldn't have let him build the stairs next to the entertainment system. It even took out the ps3, those things are indestructible.

---

-Real Life-

Me: -bangs head on desk-

Fensake: -walks in- WTF?

Me: I can't think of what to write.

Fensake: Aw, brain dead.

Me: Nope, got a bunch of ideas.

Fensake: Whats the problem then?

Me: They all in gay jokes, and Honestly making fun of Eaon isn't fun anymore.

Fensake: ...

Me: What?

Fensake: I'm gonna punch you in the nuts.

Me: 0_0!

-Division 1 Building-

Hue: YEAH!

Nameless Shinigami: What is it sir!?

Hue: I got Yahtzee!

Nameless Shinigami: ... Sir you not even playing anything.

Hue: Of course I am. In my mind.

Nameless Shinigami: ... Very Good sir.

-Earth-

Meress: Nothing like a day on the street.

Captain Bravo: Bravo! -Thumbs up-

Meress: .... You're not even from the same anime, WTF?

Captain Bravo: Ya'know I don't how I got here at all.

Meress: Wanna get drunk?

Captain Bravo: Bravo!

-Back Division 1-

Hue: Now where is that bottle of sake?

Nonko: Hello sir.

Hue: Dear Lord Nonko You Creepy Mother ****!

Nonko: ...

Hue: Sorry.

Nonko: ....

Hue: Nonko?

Nonko: Sorry -takes out ear plugs- Duo was yelling about the budget and I forget to take these out.

Hue: -_-

-Division 12 Building-

Duo: -eye twitches- He wasted half the budget on 1800 more slugcats.

Lumina: -finishes building a mini-bomb- Don't worry Duo. We can make that up easy. Now wheres Chiro I have to test this.

Chiro: -in the hallways- Oh ****! -runs-

-Division 1 Building... again-

Hue: So what do you want?

Nonko: I was gonna ask if you wanted to join the rest of us captains on the 12 Division Beach.

Hue: Sounds like fun, but---- wait you have beach?

Nonko: Yeah and the girls are getting bored.

Hue: I see well I can't g---- Girls!?

Nonko: Yeah, I just made them all new bikinis

Hue: **** it! Lets go!

-Real Life-

Me: Well at least people know who wrote this one

-Fensake leaves the room-

Me: Fen? -follows-

-Meress walk about the hallway for ten minutes-

Me: Fen?

Fensake: -hiding- Cluck

Me: ?

Fensake: -still hiding- Cluck cluck....

Me: ooookay....

Fensake: -whispers- I'm gonna kill you -Shoves Meress down a set of stairs-

Me: DEAR LORD HEL-- -smacks into the ground-

Fensake: Thanks for letting use the stairs

Vacio: Anytime.

---

-SOUL SOCIETY -

-12th Division Lab's Beach-

Duo: Hey Eaon, pass the sunscreen!

Eaon: Don't you already have two layers of SPF-40 on? *looks at Duo* OMIGOD!~

Duo: What? *Steaming*

Eaon: Dude -- you're being steamed!

Duo: Yes, steamed to perfection. This will lower our AC costs.

Eaon: *Sweatdrop* Ehe... don't you think you're taking the "budget" thing a bit too far?

-REAL LIFE-

Me: Yes, budget jokes ftw.

Meress crawls his blody form into the room

Meress: B-but... they... aren't... funny anymore... *collapses face first into blood*

Me: d**n, how'd you survive the stairs?

Meress: L-long... story...

-At the Bottom of the Stairs-

Hue Ran: Okay, now lesse...Duo said the way to the beach was just through the glowy thing...

Meress: Help..mee..*bleeding profusely.*

Hue: GAH A HOLLOW!!!! *Eradicates with sword*

-Back in Real Life-

Me: If he Eradicated you...then how are you here and bleeding on the floor?

Meress: *Is magically better* It's bleach, nobody is injured for more then one episode.

-Sits next to Fensake-

Meress: So where were we?

Me: Ionna, I think we wasted alot of this weeks space on that idiotic story of your revived stairs.

Meress: Aww to bad...So yeah in this weeks souleater they-

Shinigami: SHINIGAMI CHOP!!!!

Me: That was close, He almost spoiled it for me. I'm still only on Episodes 25.

Shinigami: *pulls out Deathscythe and glares menacingly*

Me:...nuts....

-Fade to the sound of Fensake screaming-

---

-Real Life-

Me: Ok. Lets see if I can do a good one this time

Fensake: Cluck -jumps to tackle Meress-

Me: -side steps watching him fall down the stairs- HOW DO YOU LIKE IT!

Fensake: -stands behind Meress- Like what?

Me: Didn't you just.....?

Fensake: Come on, you should know me from my clones by now.

Me: -_- d**nit

-Living World-

Satsu: Hay I'm finally in the Golden

Fensake Clone: -lands on Satsu-

Meress Riulai: -Looks up, then down at the bodies- Hay Captain...whatever. How much did we drink?

Captain Bravo: I. Don't. Know.

Meress Riulai: -_-

Captain Bravo: Bravo!!

Meress Riulai: -Smacks Captain Bravo-

-12th Division Beach-

Hue: Gah, I finally made it here.

Duo: welcome sir, 5 bucks.

Hue: Huh?

Duo: I'm charging everyone outside the division to the beach as a way to remake the budget money.

Hue: I see -hands Duo 5 bucks- so how much ya got so far?

Duo: A total of 5 bucks.

Eaon: -runs screaming past the two naked and being chased by an army of slugcats-

Hue: Did you just see---

Duo: No.

Hue: Oooookay.... wheres Nonko?

Duo: I don't know or care....sir

-Living World-

Nonko: So this is what an Adult book store looks like. Is that a Chainsaw?

Hats: why yes is it.

Nonko: Who are you?

Hats: Owner of the all mighty pwnage hat -points at head only to find his hat was stolen- What the---

Nonko: -Holding something behind his back- I wonder where it went.

Hats: -_-

-12th Division Beach-

Hue: You know what. I don't wanna know either.

Eaon: -runs the other way-

Hue: This place is just weird. I love it!

-Real Life... again-

Me: Ok thats the best I got.

Naota: I thought I could be in thins one?

Me: Sorry about that? I'll ask Fen to add you in his.

Fensake: -hiding- Cluck cluck

Naota: ?

Me: RUN AWAY! RUN NAOTA!

Naota: -takes of running, but falls down the stairs-

Me: Ow.... I felt that.

Fensake: Not yet.

Me: d**nit -_- -is thrown down the stairs landing on Naota-

Fensake: Victory.

Vacío: ..... Can I have my stairs back?

[Hirugane Tetsujin]

A shot from the past Ladies and overly sensitive gay Gentlemen, figured I'd hit back to the old school characters from my second coming.

Soul Society

*Four portals open to allow 4 strange and one very long-lasting NPC to enter into the Soul Society Realm*

Tigre: *licks lips* Okay tigre, you can do this...you can go a thread without having to lick yourself...It'll be easy....BUT I CAN FEEL THE UNCLEANNESS ON ME!!! *falls into a fit of licking himself*

Juko: I'm to unnoticable to be given a line.*cuts self*

Hiredia: Okay, grin evil, show the eyes, Pretend that your name doesn't sound like a womans. Alright, I can kick these guys faces in easy. HYU-uh*starts choking on his gum*

Lumaria: Nice, Demonic, Oh yeah I'm the dominatrix, time to make these shinigami men my slaves.

Guy who's name is stupid: I'm not gay.....no I'm...not...Ga-ay. NO .....no...I can't sing.....no...not...for.....shi-it....no...no...

Hiredia: *still choking* h.....EH..lp Neeee...*turns blue and falls into pool of his own vomit*

All: Well...at least he died happy.

Hiredia Ghost: fuck you....asshoooles*fades away*

Seireitei, Enforcement Division

Desk Clerk #1: Hey, some arrancar just popped up in Rukongai, Multiple districts.

Desk Clerk #2: OH MY GOD, WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING!!!

Desk Clerk #1: *stares*

Desk Clerk #2: *stares*

Desk Clerk #1: Your ser-*cut-off*

Desk Clerk #2: HA-HA GOTCHA BITCH. Nah fuck those little ruki's. And anyways, like the captain will thank us guys anyways. What with all the mopey whino-ness he spouts everywhere. He'll probably just gloryhound in and keep the credit. We're the real heroes here man, we tell them when this shits going down but they get All the fuckin glor-*also cut-off*

Desk Clerk #1: Dude...we don't even have a name...your just clerk number 2....and anyways have you even seen our captains lately? I don't remember even meeting them once. Why do we even exist here in a room with no doors?

Desk Clerk #2: Hell if I know, but seriously man...*leans back and puts feet up on the desk*

Desk Clerk #1: ..Seriously what?

Desk Clerk #2: Nah man just seriously you know.

Desk Clerk #1: No..I don't know, you never said anything that I should connect the word Seriously to. You just leaned back.

Desk Clerk #2: Dude, I think it's obvious we exist merely as an abstract thought process for the alarm system within a person mind, functioning only as a way for him to view dangerous happen-stance that he need report or not report. In essence we are but a micro flare of lightning on it's happy path across the cerebral mass that will end in a signal to hit the button and prove once again that the day is NOT save by the powerpuff girls.

Desk Clerk #1: ...that was deep man. BUT i REFUSE TO BE A SIMPLE NAMELESS DESK CLERK USED AS A METAPHOR FOR HUMAN THOUGHTS! I AM A PERSON DAMNIT AND I CLAIM THE NAME OF MY BIRTH TO BE MALDEROY -strikes a super kickass hero pose-

Malderoy: FROM THIS DAY FORWARD WE DO NOT MERELY THINK INSIDE THIS CURSED BOX, NO, WE SHALL THINK BEYOND IT, WE SHALL TAKE OVER OTHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS SUCH AS MATH AND SPELLING AND SOON WE'LL BE THE ONES WHO CONTROL THE TRIGGER FINGER. ON THIS DAY I SWEAR IT TO BE SO!

Desk Clerk #2: *crunches potato chip* Well to bad, the guys who got in just killed the guy whos metaphorical mind process we were.

Malderoy: Oh...well then...got mesquite bbq?

Desk Clerk #2: Hells yeah *tosses chip bag* we are gonna go out in style.

Malderoy: Yeah, 15 minutes of chip time. Thats class baby.

Hueco Mundo

Shirandara: Huh...hollows...waste my time..not waste my time..crush them with reaitsu...get blood on my dress. Hmm, well I DO hate this dress, what do you think invisible friend Colonel Spotcks?

Invisible Friend: -shrugs-

Luna: Shira, tell your friends to go home now, we have to go play find the teacup under the bed sheet.

Shirandara: HAAAAII!! Later Colonel Spotcks *waves goodbye to blank spot*

Ceniza: Oh yeah...this will be the easiest take over I have ever achieved.

Luna: You can't defeat me as you-*disappears from existence*

Ceniza: Uhm...oookay...does that mean I lead now? *glances at Hat and Clogs*

Hats: Yeah yeah, sure.*off being weird and mopey*

-1st Official Staff Meeting-

Hats: Alright Gentleman I call this meeting to order.

Mugen: Smell your program.

Hats: *raises eyebrow*

Mugen: What I did not spray these things with hints of teriyaki chicken all night for them to not smell the damn things

Bonnie: I didn't get a program

Meress: I already threw mine away eh-heh..yeah

Mugen: Well I'm sure Demon Eyes still has his*MGS alert noise*

Demon Eyes: *mauling his program to death cause it smelled like food*

Mugen: GRRRR *anger face*

-about 30 seconds later-

Mugen: OKAY OKAY I WON'T HIT YOU HATS JUST DON'T HURT ME!!!!

Hats: Good, now prop the rest back in their chairs, then they don't interrupt us after they get over the concussions.

Mugen: Yeah yeah.*begins propping everyone up*

Hats: Alright then, onto business, gentlemen we are gathered because Kon Kessha is about to face a serious problem.

Ceniza: Realistic strength npcs?

-about 2 milliseconds later-

Mugen: *staring at the new red blotch of matter on the wall* 0-0

Hats: That problem is...we our all in need of Super Fashion Makeovers!!!!

Mugen: what the hell is the point of us meeting... *hangs head*

*fade to the sound of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy music*

[MeressXIII]

_{Sorry it took me forever to get this up. I've been busy with other stuff(Nazi Zombies) and brain-dead from writing(1st Bleach Fanfic). So this might not be that good, but its better the nothing. Well at least thats what I think.}

---

--Chiro and Meress play COD5--

Chiro: Dude, I got sniped again!

Meress: Its that guy, SmartBlond12

--12th Division HQ--

Nonko: fucking n00bs.

-Duo enters-

Duo: Sir what is that.

Nonko: A oddly fun device called an Xbox360. I haven't stopped playing since yesterday.

Duo: How much did that cost?

Nonko: Chiro bought 8000 candy bar with the Division Budget.

Duo: -gone-

Nonko: Phew. Now back to n00b kill---

--Meress' House--

Chiro: Wheres SmartBlond

Meress: Zombie got him

Chiro: But.... we're not playing Nazi Zombies...

Meress: Exactly.

Chiro: ....

Meress: BOOOM HEADSHOT!

Chiro: Sweet.

Meress: Sweet.

Duo: -Standing behind Chiro- 8000 candies

Chiro: Huh?

Duo: -Murders Chiro-

[MeressXIII]

_{Ok, so fen didn't post one, but I'm gonna post one since I finally think I've got a good one.}

---

--Nonko's Research Institute--

Hue: -stands before crowd of Shinigami- Today is the day!

All, but Duo: YEAH!

Hue: Somehow captain Nonko has manged to create a device similar to his nova..... thingy. Only this one opens to the Seirei realm of the Onigami!

All: ....

Hue: Right. I've sent three captain to check the area. Now I'll send the rest of you to hack them up. Nonko ope---- -looks to where Nonko should be-

Duo: Nonko went in the realm sir.

Hue: Why!

Duo: Your ordered him too. Along with Captain Eaon, and Captain Ryoken.

Hue: So I just sent a Mad Scientist, a man who wants to kill everyone, and a.... -can't really remember Ryoken-

Duo: Yeah, we thought you were high, but they went anyway.

--The Seirei Realm--

-Nonko, Eaon, and Ryo walk around Castle Vérontás-

Ryo: Hellooo!

Eaon: Where are they.

Nonko: From what I can tell.... they disappeared. This can possibly be explained by -gos into Scientist mumbo-

Eaon: While he talks to himself lets look around a little.

Ryo: Right, good idea.

Eaon & Ryo: -Slowly walks away from Nonko-

-outside the castle-

Eaon: ok, now what? We have nothing to fight?

Ryo: Whos that? -points at person dancing a few feet away-

Eaon: -walks over- Who are you?

MeressIII: -singing- I have a detachable penis

Ryo: 0_0

Eaon: -_-

Nonko: -pops out of nowhere- Interesting....

Eaon & Ryo: -_- Why us

Nonko: How is this done?

Eaon: -smacks Nonko-

--Real Life--

Fensake: And thats how I saved X-mas

Me: 0_0

Fensake: I know, I'm just that damn good.

Me: -_-

Fensake: We're you writing the golden

Me: -Mauls-

[MeressXIII]

I'll try for a better one next time. Maybe make it over the weekend when my brain isn't about to explode

---

Real Life

Meress: -Plays Diablo II- Still at level 23. Will I ever level up!

Fensake: No cause you fail at life

Meress:

Fensake: Shouldn't you be writing a Golden

Meress: RWAR!

The Soul Society

-Nonko, Eaon, and Ryo return from the Seirei realm-

Ryo: That was a waste of time

Eaon: That it was

Nonko: I could have learned much more

Meress: I bet

Nonko, Eaon, & Ryo: ...

Meress: ...

1st Division Building

Nameless Shinigami: -Knocks on Hue's office door- Sir, the captains have return.

Hue: -muffled by the door- DOn't Come In!

Nameless Shinigami: Are you ok sir -walks in to find Hue in a too-too dancing-

Hue: I SAID DON'T----

Nameless Shinigami: -slams door and walks away.-

12th Division Building

Nonko: So what are you?

Meress: I'm me.

Eaon: I'm pretty sure thats not what he meant.

Ryo: -in another room- HelP!

-Nonko & Eaon look into other room to find Ryo covered by slugcats-

Eaon: 0_0

Ket: -sits on Ryo's head- This is a fine scratching post

Nonko: Good kitty.

Eaon: -_- why?

Nonko: Why not?

Ryo: I have many reasons why not, now get them off me.

Meress: -starts dancing singing- What is love!

[mikako]

I still love the pancil sharpener moment the most. ;D

[MeressXIII]

And I bring to you.

KON KESSHA IN SPACE!!!

;D Enjoy ;D

-A a Starship somewhere in Space-

MeressXIII: Stardate, 2009.0521. I've come across this odd looking ship. And well..... I have this bad rash on the back of my neck.

Red-Shirt: Sir, Shall we hale them?

MeressXIII: Why do you care? You have the life of a fly.

Red-Shirt: I do not understand.

MeressXIII: Shall I have Mister Ryuuza explain?

Red-Shirt: Dear God no, please don't let him---

Nonko: The reason why the captain say--- *Starts speaking about things that make no sense*

-On the other ship-

Fensake: Its small. Like that would live through an attack from this Star-Destroyer. Bring In The Evil Darth Lord.

Bonnie: You mean Sith Lord?

Fensake: *Punches Bonnie in the nuts*

Bonnie: *gasping for air* Point... Taken... *falls over*

*Doors open and a man dressed in black walks down to fensake*

Fensake: ....

Darth Hats: How did I became evil?

Fensake: this being written by a Star Trek Fan. Make a guess.

Darth Hats: Good point.

-Back on the Star Trek Ship-

Nonko: And therefore--

MeressXIII: Hes dead...... Jim

Red-Shirt: *Is now a skeleton laying over the computer station*

Nonko: It would seem so.

MeressXIII: Well now that thats over with. Nonko Tell me about that ship.

Nonko: Its very large and has many many gun

MeressXIII: You mean Phasers?

Nonko: No Lasers.

MeressXIII: ....

Nonko: Oh no.

MeressXIII: *begins explaining the Star Trek Weapons*

-Back of Star Wars ship-

Darth Hats: We can kick it's ass right?

Fensake: on soooo many levels

Darth Hats: Good, Blow it up

Bonnie: *Trys to start attack, but can't get up to control panel*

Fensake: I have to everything myself

*Massive attack begins on Star Trek Intrepid class star ship that last for hours.*

Darth Hats: Why are they alive?

Fensake: I don't know.

-Back on the Star Trek StarShip-

MeressXIII: HOW ARE WE ALIVE *Avoids exploding panel*

Nonko: I have NO idea *Stand next to exploding panel*

MeressXIII: Thats It! Call IT in!

*pushes button and large warm hole appears*

-Star Wars Ship-

Darth Hats: The hell is That!?

Fensake: Big

Bonnie: I think one popped

*Large Black Star Trek Starship exits from hole and destroys star-destroyer*

-Back on the Star Trek StarShip-

MeressXIII: 0_0

Nonko: -_-

Fensake: 0_0

MeressXIII: Wait?

*Star Trek Music starts playing*

TO BE CONTINUED

[MeressXIII]

=My world=

Fensake: Ok, so does everyone have a crowbar?

All people in the room: yes

MeressXIII: Can I say it now.

Fensake: No

MeressXIII: Damnit

Hats: *walks into room*

MeressXIII: 0_0 HIT IT with---

Hats: *holds up crowbar*

MeressXIII: DAMNIT! *walks off to play xbox*

Fensake: Ok then that the idiots gone. Lets get on with meeting.

Chiro: *Walks in* HI!

Everyone: ....

Chiro: What?

Fensake: Wheres your crowbar?

Chiro: What crowbar?

-sudden explosion as a hole appears next to an unlocked door-

MeressXIII: *runs out hole and points at Chiro with his crowbar* HIT IT WITH A CROWBAR!!!!!

-everyone tackles chiro and begins beating him to death with crowcars-

=Onigami Realm=

Gin: I'm here, and I wanna build a house.

Teisuke: I'm here, and I wanna make a deal.

Eaon: I' here, and I wanna hooker.

Haine, Teisuke, and Gin: ....

Eaon: What?

=Elsewhere=

Honda: Ok crazies. Heres whats gonna happen.

Crazy guy 1: *chews on Honda's leg*

Honda: -_-....

Crazy guy 2: HAY, That guy stole my xbox!

Honda: You don't have an xbox

Crazy guy 2: Cause he stole it!

Honda: -_- you never had an xbox

Crazy guy 2: YOUR MOTHER!

Honda: *RAGE murder*

All crazies: *stands at attention* HAIL Honda!

Honda: Much better

All crazies: Our Mother!

Honda: DAMNIT!

[oni]

Haha

[MeressXIII]

-Proboards Support GT-

New Member: So he said, that she said, that they said, that he said, that it said... *Five minutes later* And thats how they broke up.

MeressXIII:.... Dear lord I think I've not only gone blind from bothering to read that, but the fact I want to kill you horribly right now that I've been shouting as loud as possible in war chant... I've gone def as well...

New Member: N00b

MeressXIII: 2,000 POST ROFL SMASH!! *smashes newbie under post count*

Older Member: 0_0 wow....

KON KESSHA GOLDEN

-Nonko's Lab-

Nonko: So if we give it a cold.... it'll die?

Duo: Captain, what in this idiotic world are you talking about.

Nonko: I don't know, what am I talking about little doggie.

Duo: ?

Lumina: Captain I---- Why are you eating you chair.

Duo: He is not listening, I'm waiting to see how much of it He'll actually eat.

Lumina: But why?

Duo: I don't.....care why

-Seirei Realm-

Haine: Quiet today... don't you think so. *Looks over at bleed Chiro*

Chiro: Help... me...

Haine: Your right. I should totally go to the human world. *gets up and starts walking away*

Chiro: fuck.... You..... *Still bleeding to death*

-Somewhere-

Eaon: Now who should I bitch about toda--- *Is jumped by two large men and thrown into a van*

Large Man1: FLOOR IT!!

Large Man2: Nice doing business with ya.

Fensake: Do what you want with him, just make sure he why this happened.

-Real Life-

MeressXIII: That was crappy

Fensake: Yes, yes it was.

MeressXIII: 2,000 POST ROFL----

Fensake: Doesn't work in real life

MeressXIII: Damnit! *Pulls out crowbar*

Fensake: *pulls out his own Crowbar*

*Epic Star Wars dual begins only with crowbars instead of lightsabers*

[mathias]

[Satsujin Koumori]

The Haine and Chiro one is the funniest one!

[Zakura Kessin]

What a strange world I've stumbled across **

[MeressXIII]

Aug 8, 2009 7:17:48 GMT -5 Zakura Kessin said:

What a strange world I've stumbled across **

You ain't seen nothing yet ;D

[Hirugane Tetsujin]

*uses vaapad style to pwn you with his crowbar* THE DARK SIDE WINS!!!

[MeressXIII]

Its that time again!

KON KESSHA
_GOLDEN

-KK Staff Room-

Plushie Admin: I have Returned

MeressXIII: 0_0 Oh my another Admin

Hanatarô: Yeah yeah yeah, we have business about the NPC to talk about.

*everyone disappears*

Hanatarô: Oh f*** you all.

Aizen: *walks in* ?

Hanatarô: *Attempts murder*

Aizen: *runs*

Hanatarô: *Chases* COME BACK YOU PANZY!

-Human World-

Clyde: Ok, so four Batshit strong people are my opponents....

Meress Riulai: I'm at least glade I'm partly drunk

Clyde: How can you be "partly Drunk" ?

Meress Riulai: I'm only half way through the bottle

Clyde: Somehow....that makes sense.

Kamina: *appears*

Clyde: Looks like another one

Meress Riulai: *gone*

Taka: You should leave too.

-Onigami Realm-

Chiro: Still.....bleeding....

Mijek: Should you be dead by now?

Chiro: I'm still alive..... Wishin for someone hot to save me.

-Real Life-

MeressXIII: I still need to finish Hanata.....oh well.

-Back to Onigami Realm-

Mijek: Good luck with that. *Leaves*

Chiro: Damn you all.... *bleeds out more*

-Human World...again-

Nonko: *playing Poker with puppets*

Puppet1: Sir, shouldn't we be aiding the other's

Puppet2: Or at least documenting the combat for research?

Nonko: You're just mad cause you're losing. Now are you in or out?

-Rea life some more-

MeressXIII: That is completely off Nonko's character.

Fensake: Like any of these are them in character....

MeressXIII: good point.

Ed: I'M NOT A MIDGET!

Fensake: 0_0

MeressXIII: 0_o

Blood: *kills something*

TO BE CONTINUED...

[eaon]

Wow I started out looking like a perv in these, now I just look like a Dick...Violence there's simply not enough of it,

The Violence Playin' my Song
The Orchestra of Flesh and Bone
Turn it up, It turns me on
And makes me feel like I belong

[MeressXIII]

Sept 14, 2009 17:07:12 GMT -5 eaon said:

Wow I started out looking like a perv in these, now I just look like a Dick...Violence there's simply not enough of it,

The Violence Playin' my Song
The Orchestra of Flesh and Bone
Turn it up, It turns me on
And makes me feel like I belong

... I don't know what to say.

[Nonko Ryuuza]

KON KESSHA
<sub>GOLDEN

12th Division Spacial!</sub>

Nonko: *hammering something to the wall of the main 12th Division office.* There. we. go. *Walks away*

Fensake: *See paper nailed to wall with the words "Code of 12th Division" written on it* What the hell is this? *Reads*

Naota: *Happens to be standing next to Fensake* Something wrong sir?

Fenake: I think Nonko's lost it.

Naota: You mean he had it?

Fensake: -_- Just read this.

Naota: *read paper* What the F---

Fensake: Yep.

The Paper:
Code of 12th Division
_{As written by Ket}
*Picture of Nonko's lime green cat*

# Rule #7 - Thou shalt not touch me
# Rule #4 - Thou shalt not shoot for the head
# Rule #13 - Thou shalt not feed the animal
# Rule #17 - Animals will attack the hand that feeds them
# Rule #12 - All 12th Division Members are required to french the slugcat once daily.
# Rule #5 - Thou shalt not question my InsanitAh
# Rule #47 - Thou Shalt not step of Ket's tail
# Rule #16 - Thou Shalt Feed Ket daily
# Rule #50 - Ket is Profection
# Rule #7 - Perfection is to be well-serviced
# Rule #9 - No inventions may surpass the slugcat in importance
# Rule #23 - All females are required to push themselves down a flight of stairs on the 15th if each month
# Rule #72 - Always ask if you have serviced perfection yet today
# Rule #43 - All females must wear sexy Mini-skirts.
# Rule #44 - All females failing to follow rule 43 will be immediately assaulted in a sexual manner by The slugcat
# Rule #1 All rules are not listed below, breaking any rules that are not listed will result in the immediate castration.
# Rule #3 - Thou shalt still not touch me
# Rule #1,443,676,335,776 - Rule count of unlisted rules is
OVER 9000!!!!!

*five minutes later a crowd as gather around the paper.*

Duo: This is a waste of money

Naota: This is just fucking stupid

Nameless Shinigami: I kinda like the mini-skirt part

Slugcat: Woof!

Fensake: Ok Ok, I'll have a talk with him.

Nonko: Talk to who?

Fensake: Nonko what's with this *points at paper*

Nonko *reads* -_- Be right back. I have to get rid of a fail experiment.

Ket: *watches from roof top* MEEP! *runs*

THE END!

[redoblante]

HAhahahah! Best one yet!!! Hope there is more to come from the 12th Division!